It is the middle of the month and today, there is no rain. It seems rare these days -- to have a day without rain.
When I rode south to help Maggie move into culinary school in Coos Bay three years ago, I cried from Cottage Grove to Reedsport, letting the wind dry the tears on my face. My oldest was leaving home and taking flight. Much has changed since then.
As I type these words you've embarked on what I pray will be a fun and profitable career in sales, where you are able to make money helping people obtain what they need and want. Good salespeople are so important and so rare. If you press through and work hard, I think you will find sales comes pretty easily to you. You are wired for this. I am so proud of you and who you are becoming.
Then, a couple of days ago, Thomas left for boot camp. I didn't have the luxury of a 150-mile motorcycle ride to cope with my emotions as I did with Maggie, On top of that, he committed to the Navy for six years, is unable to communicate for at least two months and won't be back in Portland, even for a visit, for nearly a year. So, his departure feels different from Maggie's.
Maybe the difference is that he is my youngest, and now that he has left home, my job as a parent has changed completely. Maybe it is the distance or the length of his commitment, but whatever the case, his departure has left a hole in my heart. And the grey rain of Portland in January has mirrored the feelings of my soul.
The new reality is that my daughter is a woman who'd make any father proud; and, my osn is sprouting wings and flying off for the first time on his own and I'll never be Dad in quite the same way. Next time Thomas and I meet it will truly be man to man.
Thomas, you've kept asking for volume two of, Letters to my Children, so here I begin it. I don't think these letters will be nearly so "weighty," as those in volume one. In those letters, I tried to explain to you the foundation stones I've erected in my life while urging you to find your own upon which you can build your lives without regrets.
As I talked to Pabi about this briefly, I decided that this time around I'd write about such things as why I am the way I am politically. I'll talk about the issues one by one. I'll talk about some of my favorite places and why they have meaning or importance to me. I'll talk about my personal values and the currencies of my life. I'll cover some of the things I teach clients about emotions and healthy sexuality. As you know, that is something that I had to learn the hard way. I'll talk about conflict and communication. I'll talk about what it means to be a man and ask Pabi to write about what it means to be a woman. If any other things come up, we'll throw them in as well. I might talk about Pabi's and my love and how it came to be and how it is fueled. All in all, it should be a fun ride.
Once again, as I write I am aware that what I am trying to do is leave a legacy of words and thoughts, so your kids and their kids will know how you ended up as you.
I didn't realize until Thomas was leaving for boot camp that my real prayer for each of you is that even as I live my life as a rebel for love, you will decide to live your lives as warriors for love. It is the only thing worth fighting for. But you already knew that I believed that. No matter where you go; no matter what you do for a job; remember we have only one King, his name is Jesus and he asks us to love.
Comments