Promises

A Civil war Interruption

This week is Civil War week in Oregon. For many of us, Civil War week is bigger than the SuperBowl, for it is the game that determines bragging rights in the State. As one commentator put it, “If your team wins, you have a right to live here…” That is how big this game is.

The last two years the University of Oregon Ducks have beaten the Oregon State Beavers; last year robbing them of a Rose Bowl birth. This year, the Ducks are planning on going to the National Championship game. The only thing that stands in their way are the Beavs. If the Beavs win it would qualify them for a bowl game; they have had a mediocre season this year and a loss disqualifies them from going to any bowl. More than that though, it ruins Duck Fans’ season.

I have no reason to support the Beavers. My brother who doesn’t talk to me anymore went there and I visited him while he was a student. My ex-wife graduated from there, and so I really don’t have any reason to like them, other than I always have. They are “Lunchbox, blue collar, do-more-with-less” university. They have a smaller budget and are located in a smaller town. They are not “owned” by Phil Knight – Nike owner and Chairman. And more than that, they don’t have whiny, snivelly Duck Fan cheering for them.

The fun for me is not so much beating the Ducks, heck I even have one of their sweatshirts. No, the fun for me is tweaking “Duckfan’s” nose and ruining their football season. I support the Ducks 11 games a year. My dream Civil war is for both teams to be undefeated going into the Civil War game with everything on the line, but this is second best… the Ducks have everything to lose. The Beavs have only a game to gain (qualifying for a bowl game). I would much rather play to win a shot at going to a bowl than to play to “not lose” a championship.

I will not be heartbroken should my Beavs lose. I will cheer for the Ducks in whatever bowl game they play in. But I will be overjoyed should my Beavs beat the Ducks and knock them from their perch atop the College football world.

 

A Follow Up to "A Wonderful Win"

This morning I wrote about my son's football team and how the coaches got in the way of a fantastic won over the league power. This afternoon I confronted the head coach. I was grateful and surprised by his response.

He was not the coach that swore at the refs. He has already addressed the coach who did swear at the referees and agreed that it was not an appropriate response by a coach. He said the throwing of the clipboard and the hat were just how he coached. I let that go informing him that if I was a ref I wouldn't put up with it.

I also asked him about the player not getting back into the game. He said it was a heat of the moment mistake. He talked about the difficulties with this particular player and I told him it didn't matter he needed to get him in and that if I had been this player's parent I would have had a cow. I informed him it wasn't merely this player's fault. He didn't get it at first till I went down the list of people that didn't get their jobs done. I told him that he could have replaced my son at tight end... anything to get him back in the game so he didn't get the message that it was all his fault.

I do not know if we reached any good conclusion on this. I do know that I appreciated the coach's ability to hear me and respond with grace. It was a good conversation. We'll see what the outcome is.

Rethinking a Wonderful Win

On Saturday night under the lights of Parkrose High school field, the Parkrose Colts, a fifth and sixth grade football team

knocked off the league power Alberta Park Panthers in overtime 12 -6.

It was, perhaps, the team's best game of the season and kept them a perfect 4-0. Robin Richmond ran roughshod over the Panthers proving to be an unstoppable force.

For hours after the game I forgot something I saw during the game that disturbed me, and then talking to another friend who was at the game, I became even more disturbed.

During Alberta Park's first possession of the game, their quarterback who has a magnificent arm through out to the left flat after sucking in the Colt defense. The cornerback for the Colts who was abandoned to one on one coverage missed the play and the Panthers advanced to the 2 yard line before scoring their only touchdown of the game. It is unremarkable except for the fact that the Colt coaches didn't play that cornerback the rest of the game. He was blamed for the play and he had to sit the rest of the game for his mistake.

These are 10 & 11 year olds learning about their own bodies and what they are capable of at the same time they are learning a violent sport with all its intricacies. Sure #80 made a mistake but he wasn't the only one and yet you single him out because you left him out there on an island to defend a player far faster then he? You don't let him play in the rest of the most important game of the season because he missed a play? What sort of message are you sending?

Later in the game the officials called a pass interference call when a Colt's defender stuck up his hand knocking the ball away with out turning his head. The head coach for the Colts threw his clipboard on the field and cursed the refs in front of his kids.

This game was not about the kids. It was about the coach. After the game he stood in front of his team and announced, "In five years I have not beaten that team, you are the first team that got me the win. Thank you. You played a hell of a game." remember these are 10 and 11 year olds.

We wonder what has gone wrong with sports. We need to start looking at who is coaching our youth and the messages they are sending. Wrong lessons are learned too early and what should have been a fantastic win left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

Football for Fifth Graders

    Thomas is trying football this year. He is playing for a good team that has been established and has long time coaches that generally are concerned for the kids and their growth as humans. TL and I have had multiple conversations about his playing. He is trying it out to see if he likes it.

    I let him know that I had concerns about the swagger and the pride that go with football. I let him know that the whole anger thing worried me and wondered out loud if he was angry enough to be successful long term. I let him know that I was concerned about the price his body would play if he played football long term. I also let him know that if he was going to play he was going to have to get mean and explode through people.

    I didn't let him know that many football coaches have god complexes and that there is a machismo that goes with football that is almost grotesque at a fifth grade level. I left his practice today disgusted by one older coach in particular who really seems to want the kids to view him as God. 

    I want Thomas to succeed. I am trying to find ways to help him succeed. I want to get a pad for his sore right wrist and get to practice early enough to tape it. I want to explain that football is a game of intimidation and hurting people and he can shoose either to be the one intimidated or the intimidator. I want to spend some time with him helping him learn how to explode through his opponents. I want to teach him to slide his head and shoulder to the correct side depending on the direction of the play. I want to help him get better, and I want him to figure out early on that he shouldn't respect coaches that demand worship. I want him to be strong enough to say. I need water, I am going to get some now, even if the coaches don't agree.

    In short I want him to be a good human before a good football player... and what I saw today makes me think the two are not completely compatible. That is sad.

2nd Chances in Sports and Life

I like John Canzano. I really dig him as a sports columnist and he is an alright sports radio personality. I often listen to him in the afternoons on Sports radio 95.5 the Game here in Portland. Last week one of his topics was whether Michael Vick should get another chance at the NFL upon his release from jail for heinous dog abuse charges.

Canzano argued that people need to earn the right to have a second chance. Later in the week I was listening to Portland's other afternoon sports radio team, on 1080 AM, ESPN radio. Jason Scukanec (Suk) argued that Daniel Hood, a prep football star who was convicted of brutally raping his 14 year old cousin when he was thirteen, should not have been a scholarship to Tennessee because of the crime he committed, even though the girl he was convicted of kidnapping and raping thought he deserved a second chance.

As I listened to both conversations I was wonderfully ambivalent. Canzano argued that some crimes require the criminals to prove themselves after they have completed their sentence. Suk made the point that there are some people that he would prefer not to have on his team in part so he wouldn't have to cheer for them. (I actually thought this was one of the better arguments I heard. I am not sure I want to cheer for a convicted rapist either. But I digress.)

Both of these examples are great ones to mold this conversation around because both crimes were most grievous. I think one has to hold Vick more culpable, however, due to his age and position when he committed his crime. In addition, he demonstrated a pattern of disgusting behaviour.

Hood was thirteen, and in actuality did not participate in the rape but neither did he act to stop it. He watched and did nothing having helped restrain her. He admits that what he did was disgusting. He admits that he doesn't deserve the chance he is getting at Tennessee. He knows that everything he gets is grace. Having read the story after Suk reported it made me realize that I could cheer for this kid quite happily. Anyone who understands that everything they get is grace is on the right track in my book.

Vick is a different story altogether, but I still think Canzano is wrong. I don't like Vick. I don't like what he did, and I think he does have an expectation that he deserves more than he is getting, but that is what is so hard about grace. It is given to those who recognize it and those that don't. If it didn't, it wouldn't be grace.

I don't think Canzano worries that someone is giving Vick a chance to work a $10 an hour construction job for forty hours a week. So why would he worry if someone gave him a chance to play quarterback for an NFL team for several million? What difference is there between the two really? Football players are gladiators. To play the sport well you have to have pent up anger. You have to have an edge to you that may not play well in the rest of society. I wouldn't trade my life for theirs for anything. I do not think they have the capacity to love required to perform my job. I know I don't have the anger to do theirs well.

Does it matter that we live in an upside down society that pays its gladiators millions while cutting teaching positions that pay thousands? No. I wouldn't let Micheal Vick teach my kids, but I have no trouble letting him get hit by 200+ lb men in tight pants for lots of money. His reward down here is all he is going to get anyway. fame is fleeting. Just ask OJ.

It is not a question of second chances. Once released every convict needs to be able to prove himself again to society. Why not give him that chance in a safe environment like a football stadium where he can do little harm? Let him have a chance to succeed or fail. His best chance at success is to let him play and I think we'd all like to see more successes and less failures. Our failure rate with released convicts is already too high. No one is going to think more of Vick simply because he's really fast, he throws a football well, and has amazing escapability. Those things a real man don't make. They only make for great entertainment. And that is pretty low on the values chart when it comes right down to it.

Both Hood and Vick should get their shot, but for my money, I'll root for Hood based upon what I read. I might go wow watching Vick. If he went to the Seahawks I might even cheer for him. But unless he changes, I mean really changes, as it appears Hood has done, I'll never respect him, and that is what I think every man wants more than anything.

Coaching

I'm coaching my son's U10 soccer team. The gift to me is watching kids get it, and succeed. For one the success is simply not allowing himself to be knocked over. For another it is not stopping after kicking the ball. Another has to get over a self image that tells him his whole family is made up of nerds. They are learning to play. We are 5 - 2 on the season. But that matters far less than the joy on a boys face after he makes a play he could never have made at the beginning of the season. It is all a gift...

The Black Sox

Props to the Coaches

My son is fortunate to have some men involved in his life for the past three years that give of their time and their lives to love kids well by coaching. They impress the hell out of me.

Three years ago Thomas knew nothing of baseball. He had no clue how to throw, hit, catch or play the field. On more than one occasion his first season I had to talk him into keep playing, assuring him that he only had to finish out the season honoring his commitment to his coaches and teammates. Then he could choose to never play again. His second season was better. And now I am aware that he has skills that I never had. He has learned things that no one ever taught me. Maybe had these men been coaching me I might have lasted a little longer in the game. They have taught my son to play a game that I never could.

His coaches not only teach, they patiently teach. He continues to get better and better. So here is to John (on the right), Ron (closest to the camera), and Aaron (with his eyes shut against the cold) who love these boys in ways they will never forget; who take the time to care for and mold them on their journey toward manhood. There is no real way to thank them for what they are doing. I'll leave that up to God. But I know that He looks at these boys swinging bats and catching balls and smiles at them and their coaches. He is well pleased... I can't  say thank you effectively enough.

I love Football, but love my son more

I was a big slow kid... But while attending my junior year of highschool in England I discovered that being a clutz on some athletic fields is a plus. When I returned to America I played football and was good... this is mainly cause I would trip and knock people over. My coaches loved that.

I realized that had I started earlier I cold have been a very good football player. It is a regret that I carried for a long time.

My son is a better athlete than I ever was. I was quick and slow. He is plain fast. I had very little co-ordination. He has a lot. He can hit a baseball (I never could). For a long time I really wanted him to play football. He'd be good. He'd be really good.

But... modern day football scares me. I listen to 1080 the fan and they have an ex-football player as one of their hosts. He was clear that he wouldn't want his children playing past high school. After listening to Leigh Steinberg yesterday, I don't think I want my son playing at all -- his life and health are too important to me.

Check out this website for more info on part of the reason. And this website only points out one of the potential issues with playing football. I have arthritic hands from one year of football.

So this next year I will coach his age's soccer team and he will play for me. It is his choice what sport he plays, I have told him the truth that though I love football and would love to see him play; that I think he'd be really good; I don't want him to. He is not mean enough. He has too much going for him to risk for a game of violence.

Mike & Jesus

Mike Vick stated,

   "I take full responsibility for my actions. Not for one second will I sit right here and point the finger and try to blame anybody else for my actions or what I've done.

   "Through this situation I've found Jesus," he added. He vowed to redeem himself, saying, "I have to."

OK, I'm struggling... and all of a sudden a feel like a religious bigot...

A couple of days ago I met a friend with whom I used to work. We were talking about another colleague who had gone out on his wife several times. He has a problem that is not being addressed.

My friend said, "I have never known a black man that has been able to stay faithful to one woman." All of a sudden I was swimming in an ocean of stereo types and and prejudice. I thought about all of my African American pastor friends in strong marriages who had been faithful for years upon years, but I let the statement go...

When I first read Vick's statements I wondered about the moral laxity of the African-American church and how Jesus can be a Saviour and redeemer without seemingly affecting the life patterns of the congregants. This is one of the blessed things about  predominantly African American congregations -- Christianity is so much a part of the African American culture that drug addicts, prostitutes and pimps, alcoholics, thieves and murderers all feel perfectly at home in the pew. Jesus is never far away.

In my culture, in the white middle class church that I grew up in those type of people knew better than to come into the walls of the church for it was a holy place for the upright and morally superior people who led secret double lives that no one could ever possibly find out about.

You see for all of us, white, brown, yellow, or black following Jesus comes at a cost. We can't wear Jesus as a mantle when He is comfortable or when he makes us look good. We can't add him to our lives. He ha to be our life. We have to "walk in the ways of Jesus" every day. That often means taking up our own cross and dying to self every day so that He can reign and rule. It is not a race issue. It is a people issue.

I have no idea if Mike Vick thinks of Jesus as Lord or is looking at him as "Comforter" right now. I do know that unless he is Lord He tends to make things very uncomfortable...

My initial reaction that it was a racial thing was just plain wrong. My African American brethren don't look at bad choices any more loosely than my white brethren. Rather, I think they allow people to be people better than most of the rest of us. Jesus does welcome anyone who is willing to sell all they have and come after him. Only time will tell if that is the case with Mike Vick. I am glad I am not the judge...may God have mercy on his soul...