Promises

Innocently unaware of the prejudices held against him, an old black man, staunchly religious, some years ago applied for membership in an exclusive church. The pastor tried to put him off with all sorts of elusive remarks. The old man, becoming aware that he was not wanted, said that he would pray on it and perhaps the Lord would tell him just what to do.
Several days later he returned. "Well," asked the minister, "did the Lord send you a message?"
"Yes sir, he did," was the answer. "He told me it wasn't any use. He said, 'I've been trying to get in that same church myself for ten years, and I still can't make it.'" -- The Spirituality of Imperfection (Bantum Books, 1992., p 197)

Prayers I pray throughout the day

There are several prayers I pray throughout the day to stay connected to God and help myself line up with what He is doing. I’ve learned that there is a connection between my physical posture and my spiritual posture, and that sometimes it is worth it to pull off the road go into a coffee shop’s bathroom so that I can get on my knees to talk to God. I wasn’t willing to get on my knees at first. I was told to start throwing my keys under the bed at night so I would get on my knees in the morning. After a bit, I found that there is a marked difference for me. Now I get on my knees to pray. The following are some prayers I pray every day to stay connected throughout the day:

God, I offer myself to thee, to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bare witness to Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life.  – Bill Wilson

 

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Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, 
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; 
to be understood as to understand; 
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive; 
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.  – St.  Francis of Assisi

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My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me – good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me the strength as I go out from here, the power to do Thy bidding. Thy will not mine be done. Amen. – Bill Wilson

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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.  – Nieburh

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God, this is a sick man (woman). How can I be of help to them? Save me from being angry with him (her).  Thy will be done. – Bill Wilson

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Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins the same way we forgive those who sin against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever, amen. – Jesus

 

Addiction explained

The other day a friend who attends recovery meetings explained addiction to me in a way that anyone could understand. "My wife is allergic to dogs. If she is around them or their dander she can get really sick. So she has half an understanding of my disease. She doesn't have the second half though, because she has n compulsion to collect dogs."

Lon Allison and the two minute prayer retreat

Lon was a mentor of mine when I was part of the Arrow Leadership Program. He has written extensively on incorporating drama into the sermon and heads the Billy Graham Center in Wheaton, Illinois.

His thoughts here are worth the read for those that struggle with ongoing contact with the Creator of all things as they go through out the day.

Take Two Minutes, and Call Me in the Morning-

I am seeking to erase the division between the sacred and the secular in my life.

 By that I mean the daily danger of spending a bit of time with God in the morning, and then working the remainder of the day without him. The real kicker is that while working without him, I claim to be working for him!  (I know that was a run-on sentence, but it corresponds to my run-on life!)

So, I’m taking two minutes more often to shut down the engines of incessant busyness. I’ve read that St. Benedict had his monks stop what they were doing 8 times a day to enter into brief prayer.  I’m starting with maybe two times a day for two minutes.  It’s almost a habit now, since I’ve done it for 3 days!!!!!

To be honest, it seems to help. I just finished a two-minute prayer retreat.  At 6pm on Friday night, I had 3 projects yet to finish. My back was aching, my pulse racing. I was pushing through to try and finish. You know the feeling. So, I stopped. I shut off the fluorescent lights and turned on my softer lit lamps. I plugged in a little serenity fountain to pretend I was near a brook.  Then I just sat back with God, released some cares and just sitting there. Oh my, it was nice. 

I’d like you all to hold me to this practice. Who knows- maybe two by two will become three by three, and I can claim another life accomplishment. “Oh help him Lord”. 

Lon Allison

12th tradition is what makes recovery attractive

“Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life that you conferred as a gift through me, so they can be one heart and mind as we are one heart and mind.” Jesus prayed for us recorded in John 17:11-12 (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

 

For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on the character of Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God's promise to Abraham belongs to you. Gal 3:26-29 (Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.)

 

Tradition 12 (short Form): “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.”

Tradition 12 (long form): "And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all."

 

 “The most anyone can ever have is 24 hours sober…the most sober person in the room is the person that got up earliest.”— 12 step belief

    

When you walk into a 12 step meeting a good looking guy in a suit doesn’t introduce himself to you and make small talk, asking you what you do and telling you what he does. He won’t even initially ask what brought you to the meeting – at least initially.

One person wrote about their experience in a 12 step room:

I sat in a small upstairs classroom in an unfamiliar church, thinking, “I am all that I feared I really was…”

I was attending my first twelve-step meeting for sexaholics. It was remarkably surreal -- everything from the opening prayer, “God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” to the introductions. “Hi, my name is _________ and I am a sexaholic”…

”Hi _________,” the group answered…

Was I dreaming or was this nightmare my new reality? It seemed too unreal to be real. But it was very real…

 

The focus in the rooms is the message of hope that is found in recovery. Personalities, personas, and ego all take a back seat.

His struggles with alcohol abuse have been well publicized. If he went to an AA meeting, Mel Gibson would not be Mel Gibson, movie star and multi-millionaire; he would simply be, “Mel, a recovering alcoholic”.

Likewise, Lindsey Lohan’s drug abuse has also been tabloid fodder. If she went to a 12 step meeting to address this issue  she would not be Lindsay Lohan, actress and pin up, but rather simply, “Lindsay, a grateful recovering drug addict”.

Recently, Tiger Wood’s multiple and concurrent affairs destroyed his gold career at least in the short run. If he went to a 12 step meeting Tiger Woods would not be: Tiger Woods, the greatest golfer to ever live, but rather simply, “Tiger, a recovering sex addict”.

In the same way, Charles Barkley is infamous for gambling away hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars. If he went to a 12 step meeting he would not be Charles Barkley, basketball star, TV personality and cultural icon, but simply, “Charles, a recovering gambling addict”.

And it is hard to pick up a tabloid without reading about Oprah’s ongoing struggle with her weight and body image. If she went to a 12 step group she would not be Oprah Winfrey, billionairess, TV talk show host, producer, cultural icon; but rather simply, “Oprah, recovering food addict.”

In the same way Mel Smith would not be, Mel Smith, societal dropout, bum and beggar, but simply, “Mel, a grateful recovering alcoholic”; Lindsay May would not be Lindsay May, prostitute and drug addict, but simply, “Lindsay a recovering drug addict”; Eldrict Taylor would not be parolee and sex offender but simply, “Dric, a recovering sex addict”; Charlie Luce would not be, Charlie, carpet cleaner, but simply, “Charlie, recovering gambling addict”; and Opie Frank would not be Opie Frank, disabled and unable to work, but rather, “Opie, a recovering food addict.”

In a 12 step meeting the playing field is even. No one is better than anyone else. Everyone in the room has been brought to their knees by the disease of addiction. Everyone’s story sees the light and in the telling touches others whose stories echo back the pain and the secrets they never thought would see the light of day. Who someone is “out there” doesn’t matter. It can only get in the way of who they need to become. What matters is who they are “in here”. Addicts insides never match what they see on the outsides of others and so they create false selves to hide the real. Those false selves only drive them deeper into their addiction by strengthening their belief that their real self is completely unloveable.

Some people think that the anonymous part of a twelve step meeting is to protect the individual. Indeed, one addict reported that when he first started going to meetings he’d park down the street, pull his hat really low to go in and gave a false name when introducing himself. There is certainly a point to this. Addicts don’t want to be “outed” by a gregarious friend in recovery that doesn’t have enough sense to keep his voice down at the after meeting fellowship. He may well be reminded, “Paul, remember, inside voice.”

Addicts know all too well that “normies” don’t get their disease; that they are probably incapable of understanding their predicament, so most keep their anonymity; those who don’t often pay a heavy price. Many have lost jobs, marriages, friendships and familial relationships because they thought they were “Big enough” to out themselves to the world violating this tradition and betraying themselves without even knowing it; just like they did in their addiction.

Anonymity is really about classlessness and unity. It is about humility and realizing that it is God who keeps people sober.

It strikes me as incredibly ironic that 12 step fellowships figured out how to live out the prayer of Jesus to be “one”, even as the Father and he are “one” better than the institution that was commanded to be one and which couldn’t be more fragmented if God had asked it to be.

Class distinction and gender distinction are marks of the church not just historically since, Constantine but also in practice today. Church growth specialists encourage church planters to target a specific demographic and focus on it to maximize growth.

It is not uncommon to have someone come up and introduce themselves to you when you first walk into a church, “Hi, I am Bob, I am one of the pastors here...” Or, “I am Susie, one of the elders here…” Some pastors even have their name put on a sign outside, and some boards put their pastor’s name on a sign for their pastor even over their pastor’s objections.

If you listen carefully to the “small talk” in the foyer after the service people will introduce themselves and ask what you do and tell you what they do. Their identity is important.

Wouldn’t it be cool if instead of the above Bob said, “Hey, you look like you haven’t been here before. My name’s Bob. Can I get you a cup of coffee or help you find a place to sit? Maybe I could sit with you for a spell.”

Or, “Hi, I’m Susie, it looks like you have your hands full with that little one, can I help you with your coat? I’m going to hang it up right here. If you want we have a great nursery downstairs. Can I show you the way and answer any questions you might have?”

Or, “Hey, you know I am glad you came today. I know the first time I came here I was a little overwhelmed. I tend not to be very religious and the idea of coming into a church was a little stretching. Can I answer any questions you have about why we do things the way we do or anything that was said? If you want I’d love to introduce you to a couple of my friends.”

Our worldly identities and our “churchly identities” too often identify us in the church. This has to stop if we truly desire to conform our will to the will of our Heavenly Father wills that we  be one as He and Jesus are one.

In the church this tradition isn’t so much about anonymity, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ…” but rather, about class, sex, and race. It is about getting rid of the divisions which divide us and render us impotent and weak.

        If we ever hope to be Jesus to the world as the Body of Christ, the classlessness envisioned by Paul when     he wrote to the Galatians has to become reality. We must take up our crosses, lay down our identities, pick up     his, and follow him along His road of wondrous destiny. When we do we will find that others do want to join         us. Authenticity is contagious

Saw Switchfoot last night...

Portland has an iconic intimate concert venue called the Crystal Ballroom. Last night I surprised my wife with tickets to see one of her favourite bands, Switchfoot play the venue.
Paper Tongue opened for them.

Paper Tongue is a brand new band out of North Carolina. Young and full of energy, they played a five piece opening set that pleasantly surprised the Portland audience. It was difficult to hear the lyrics on the Mezzanine level where Shell and I sat but they sounded good enough for me to go buy their EP. I hope this seven member band finds an audience.

When Switchfoot took the stage everyone was looking for Jon. A spotlight finally found him half way back in the audience singing the opening to the first track to their new album, Hello Hurricane -- "the world begins with newborn skin..." This ten-year veteran band knows how to  tell a story with their music. The word pictures they create are plaintively beautiful.

Though I've appreciated Switchfoot, they have never been a band I'd choose to have on my ipod. That will change after last night. For my money, Hello Hurricane is their best release yet. Now Shell and I can enjoy them together. As a matter of fact we're listening to them together right now.

Evangelism in Light of the 11th tradition

Tradition 11(short form): Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

Tradition 11 (long form): Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A. A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.

Do you ever play “the people watching game” at a restaurant and try to decide the stories of the other people in the restaurant? “I bet they are on a first date… and that couple in the corner… look at them. They have been married ten years and have forgotten how to talk to one another… But what about that group at the corner table? There doesn’t seem to be any common denominator. There are seven people… and they like to laugh a lot…”

If you’ve run into that group in your favourite restaurant, you’ve probably run into a 12 step “after meeting”. It is the social gathering that often happens after an AA meeting – members will gather for a meal or coffee after their meeting for fellowship and mutual support. Nearly always these gatherings are boisterous and full of laughter and life. AA’s tend to have “bigger than life” personalities. When they gather socially it tends to be loud and laughter-filled. AA’s aren’t who you think they are.

I was talking with a friend of mine who is 19 years clean in AA. “I’d never know any millionaires if it weren’t for AA,” he said, “but now I know more than I can count. AA seems to be full of people that know how to make money and then lose it and make it again.”

Don’t get me wrong, AA’s come in all different personality types: shy, bold, introverts and extroverts, intuits and sensates, thinkers and feelers, judgers and perceivers; but all in all it tends to have more than it’s fair share of highly boisterous extroverts who don’t have to seek the limelight to find it and who tend to be the life of the party. CEO’s and high powered salespeople seem to come to AA in droves. People who are highly driven “type A’s” seem to be cursed with addictive tendencies.

Alcoholics continually sell themselves to the world. Their insides rarely match what they see on the outsides of everyone else and so they compensate by self-promotion. This tendency to talk endlessly about their own accomplishments is not unlike the child who needs everyone to know about his successes so that they will see him the way he wants to be seen, rather than the way he feels he truly is. Grandiose self-promotion looks ugly. While it is expected in car sales, a lot of insurance sales, and by preachers in the pulpits, it is a pretty ugly habit.

AA knows alcoholic tendencies and the program is one of continual growth in humility. So it follows that AA developed a tradition that goes against the “look at me” (or “look at us”) mentality of the typical alcoholic. This tradition is born of the certitude that AA effectively changes lives. Anyone looking at the life of a recovering alcoholic can see the difference that recovery makes in their life. The recovering alcoholic states, “If I have to talk about all the changes in my life so that people notice them, how real can those changes be? It is far more real for people to see the changes in my life and ask me to share about them. That is not only humility, it is also strength.” They realize that actions speak louder than words; that they are measured by their actions rather than their intentions. And what is true for the individual is also true for the fellowship.

AA no longer practices the promotional tendencies that described its members for large a portion of their lives. They believe that if AA really does change lives it will be incredibly attractive to drunks who want to discover that sobriety can be incredibly fulfilling. They also realize that promotion leads to compromise of the message they carry.

In order to promote, we change the language and change the message to promote it more effectively. AA realized this, and did not want a watered down message.

There is a third reason for this tradition. If a celebrity who is a member of AA comes out and talks about the difference that AA has made in their life and how it has completely transformed them and then gets drunk again. It does not speak well for the fellowship. It brings into question its integrity. When someone publicly identifies with the fellowship in the press, radio, on TV or in films; the fellowship’s integrity is endangered by the alcoholic’s own frailty.  The frailty itself is revealed in the alcoholic’s public identification. Such identification is an act of the ego. Such an act of the ego is counter to everything the alcoholic is learning in recovery. It should be counter to everything the Christian has learned from the Spirit too.

It seems a week can’t go by without a celebrity talking about being in AA. See Tatam O'Neil’s story, Lindsay Lohan’s story, or Martin Sheen’s story. All of them violate the tradition. That is OK. AA doesn't take a position on members inability to follow the traditions anymore than they hold a position on a member not working the steps. It is the individual's loss. AA is only concerned that they follow their traditions. None of the celebrities mentioned abover can stay sober. I wonder if their inability to recover has to do with their inability to fit into the culture of AA?

Notice that others follow the tradition. Michael J Fox only alludes to his recovery in his book, Lucky Man. He writes: “…over the following days, months and years, she along with an ever widening circle of friends, all of whom prefer to remain anonymous, showed me it was possible to live life without alcohol.” (p. 162) Is it any wonder all that we have heard from Fox in recent years is his fight against Parkinson’s disease and tales of how good a human being he is becoming?

Many others remain completely anonymous and unknown to everyone except those they attend meetings with. If you notice, AA never advertises, “Come hear Lindsay Lohan speak at our monthly speakers meeting about her life in sobriety,” or anything remotely like that. It would violate their traditions.

Meanwhile at the local church Kurt Warner, quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals is the guest speaker at a men’s meeting, and later that night you can see the Dove award winner for the handsome price of $55 a ticket. The church is continually advertising celebrity to get people to come into their doors.

One church in Portland has billboards up with a giant picture of their pastors on it, “Come worship with us,” the billboard implores. Five pastors are pictured, named and interviewed for the Portland Monthly magazine. If you walk into a Christian bookstore life size cardboard cutouts of Christian authors greet you at that door. Many churches now have “video venues” which mean campuses that don’t have the preacher live have a video link to see him at sermon time. Parishioners go to church to watch TV together. The preacher is the reason people gather together. Mass evangelists are using a “festival” model for city mission. In a festival model, top Christian bands play, Christian celebrities share their testimonies, and the evangelist presents the gospel and calls for a response. While there is a lot more to it: a mobilization for community service, skate parks and shows abound, food courts serve, prayer meetings form, the idea is to get people to come for the show or the celebrity of the event so that they will hear the gospel message. The church seems to focus on personality rather than Jesus in 21st century America.

While I am not making a judgment about any of these activities, AA would never involve itself in like activities because of their 11^th tradition. The model for cultural engagement that these events embrace is a model of personality first – celebrity first, gospel and Spirit second. Many argue that the Spirit is in personality, or can be (after all he made it).So we should use it to further the Kingdom.

They may be right but I do not think that Jesus would ever hold a rally purchasing TV spots which urged viewers to, “Come hear Jesus, the Lord of the universe, hope of the world.” He would not preach on TV or at a video venue. He would not allow himself to be interviewed by the local paper or magazine in order to get people to come hear one of his lectures. It simply was not his style.  His style was personal, simple, and based on people seeing the difference between his Spirit-filled life and message and the life they were living or being sold either by the religious establishment or the Roman Empire. He was very simply a King walking in an opposing kingdom, inviting people to live in His instead. The only reason they would choose to do so was that they saw life in his Kingdom was so much better than the life they currently lived. If their life was good there is little to no chance that they would choose to follow a maniac who told them to sell everything to follow him, or to die to their own desires to follow him. That simply didn’t make sense to those who already had a life that they liked.

So this is the problem for Christians in West. Unlike the alcoholic /addict they have good lives, are comfortable and have little need of God. The alcoholic / addict is at the bottom already. The only reason anyone has for becoming a member of AA is an acknowledgement that they are powerless and their life has become unmanageable. I believe that is also the only reason anyone chooses to follow Jesus.

The church is fighting to share Jesus with people that don’t want to hear, who don’t think they need to hear and so knowing that the church has changed strategies. “By all means reach some,” my parents used to argue. I am not sure that their mantra is in line with Jesus though.

Though AA’s 11^th tradition may be too stringent for the church, I think its self imposed limitations force AA to operate closer to the methodology of Jesus than the church’s lack of limits in this area. Changed, peaceful, hopeful, joyous lives are contagious. Communities full of people with those qualities who also love each other and their world are amazingly attractive. I wonder if we need to move so that we more closely resemble the methods of Jesus?

10th Tradition Follows On

AA 10^th Tradition Short form: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

And here is the text from the AA Big Book, the long form of the traditions:

No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues - particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.

Traditions 4, 6, and 10 fit together:  one purpose (tradition 4), do not lend our name to anyone or anything else, (tradition 6) hold no position on outside issues (tradition 10).

Many would say that in a democratic or republican society the church needs to take a position on such things as abortion, assisted suicide, gay rights (specifically gay marriage). Then they add gun rights, health care, immigration reform, etc… Somehow, all of these issues have made their way to the forefront of “Christian concerns”. We lost our

10th Tradition Follows On

AA 10^th Tradition Short form: Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

And here is the text from the AA Big Book, the long form of the traditions:

No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues - particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.

Traditions 4, 6, and 10 fit together:  one purpose (tradition 4), do not lend our name to anyone or anything else, (tradition 6) hold no position on outside issues (tradition 10).

Many would say that in a democratic or republican society the church needs to take a position on such things as abortion, assisted suicide, gay rights (specifically gay marriage). Then they add gun rights, health care, immigration reform, etc… Somehow, all of these issues have made their way to the forefront of “Christian concerns”. We lost our

The reason for the 9th tradition... would it work?

The 9^th tradition states: "AA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve".

Leo, named for the Russian author, was born to two college professors in Berkley back in the early 70’s. His parents were part of the “flower power” movement and drugs were often seen in his home as he grew up. Exceedingly bright, he never felt like he fit in with the other kids. A loner he was offered a scholarship to Reed College in Portland, Oregon to pursue a degree in philosophy. By the end of his sophomore year he was spending more time high than sober. He loved to sit around and talk philosophy with others that seemed to be just like him so long as a joint was lit or a needle was nearby. The drugs were a magical short cut the relationships he always wanted. At least they were until a combination of an overdose while on academic probation for missing too many classes cost him his full ride and eventually his place in the school. It wasn’t that long before he was standing beside a freeway exit asking for money so that he could get his next fix. Somehow he made it to Narcotics Anonymous

On this particular night he was sitting next to Hamilton at an eight o’clock meeting. They couldn’t be much more different from each other. While Leo sat in ripped jeans and a dirty old Grateful Dead t-shirt Hamilton was dressed in a coat and tie. He sold cars these days. It hadn’t started that way. A “type A” personality, he grew up in a big church on just off the 205. His parents were hard working, straight laced children of the Eisenhower 50’s and a fundamentalist Baptist lifestyle. Do’s and don’ts ruled his world. In the youth group he ruled. In school he was successful but always a bit on the outside. No one knew about his stash of porn that led him to consciously choose women over God at age 17. He couldn’t live with two Gods. His parents’ God deserved better than that. So he stopped going to high school and began to party with is friends after games and whenever he thought that he might hook up. Drugs were a part of the picture and they really were no big deal, a few lines here and there to make the feelings of ecstasy a little more intense, and a few drinks here and there to give him the courage to go after the real “looker” didn’t seem to hurt anything.

He went to the UO where he was big in the fraternity world and did well in his business classes. Out of college he hired on to sell pharmaceuticals. In his first year he netted over $130k. Meanwhile his bank account only had a few hundred in it and he was mortgaged up to the hilt. Rightly or wrongly he was fired after just two years on the job. His numbers plateaued, and  he was having a hard time making all his “meetings”. Often he’d call to reschedule appointments, and he was labeled “unreliable”. And when he was arrested for DUII, it gave his company all the reason they needed to let him go. The court ordered AA and so he went because he had to, but never really bought in. He finished all his court ordered meetings and vowed never to go back. He’d never drink and driver again he swore.

He couldn’t get a job in pharmaceuticals again. So he started to sell cars. He was good at it. But after only six months, he got greedy on a deal, cheated a colleague out of their cut, lied, got caught and got fired. He was so angry out of the deal that he went cruising, picked up a girl and binged with her on drugs and sex for 72 hours until the hotel manager called the cops because the party had grown and they were disturbing their neighbours.

He couldn’t find work now. He ended up in NA and found a job at a used car lot on 82^nd and began to piece his life back together again. His life was work, and NA. He knew he had to survive.

Leo was a confirmed anarchist. He didn’t trust government or authority of any kind. Everyone was equal. That is why he loved the NA rooms. It was, to him, in many ways the perfect anarchist society.  The only time he got antsy was when the meeting had their monthly business meetings. He hated those. He wasn’t sure if he believed in God but he was coming to believe that there had to be something more than all this that was, in fact keeping him clean. When asked, he’d say that the fellowship was his higher power. It was all he needed. He could trust it. There was no system that the fellowship had to serve. There was no structure that people had to fit into in order to belong. It was safe and the wisdom in the fellowship sometimes blew his mind. For now, the fellowship was all he needed.

Hamilton yearned for the fellowship to be more than it was. He was six years sober now. He’d worked his way up the car dealerships and was making pretty good money again. He could look at himself in the mirror with out wincing anymore most of the time. He was back in church. It was another big church up in Vancouver. They had programs for everything. He found places that he could serve and feel good about himself. Occasionally he felt badly because he was still very much the ladies man, but he figured Jesus would understand. He wanted NA to get more involved. He wanted them to do more things to help addicts get better. He was pointed by some old timers to various organizations that were doing stuff to help addicts recover and he found that he could throw himself into the work of RAP (Recovery Association Project). It was working on RAP that he came to know Leo who was working with the Oxford House. It was his friendship with Leo that helped him understand why NA wasn’t better organized.

While he still wished that NA was better organized and was willing to do more things. He came to appreciate that they didn’t. NA had to be a place for everyone. It had to be a place that Leo could get clean. It had to be a place whose focus was so simple that anyone could belong.

I tell the stories because they point to the reason Bill Wilson said the 9^th Tradition was necessary. People are different. People approach life, recovery, and Christianity differently. Meg on her blog, dandelionwine, quite rightly points out that we have a “soul type” that pushes us toward certain spiritual likes and dislikes. People will try to push recovery groups too. They want to push them in their own pet directions; much in the same way the church has often been pushed in peoples’ pet directions: the Episcopalians who insist on standing still until the last candle is out and Jesus has seemingly left the building, the Baptists who seem unable to sing anything unless it is written in 6/8 time and they are able to roller skate to it; the Charismatics who require a back beat to their prayers and a swaying motion that gives the allusion that they know how to dance; the Presbyterians who like things quiet so the old folk can sleep in the back pews; and the Lutherans that insist there be a keg at every church function. (Wow that was a long sentence.) The nature of groups is that they get pushed around by their organizational techniques and methods.

Bill Wilson didn’t want AA to get pushed around and all other 12 step  12 tradition groups have followed suit. You would think that this lack of organization would slow them down, but it hasn’t because the end of the tradition states that they may create service boards who are directly responsible to those they serve. Bill wanted the structure to serve the mission rather than the people to serve the structure. He did it this way. It has worked. It is an answer to the organizational “pull” problems. All sorts of alarm bells ring in my cranial cavity as I look at this step.

One of my friends here in Portland loves the idea of “organic” church, but has a hard time making it work. He doesn’t like programs and is intentional about avoiding them but he also feels that this hamstrings the Spirit’s ability to work though his congregation.

I am ambivalent on this point because if you talk to any 12 stepper they will tell you that you cannot treat the 12 traditions like a buffet where you are able to pick and chose which ones you want. The traditions work together in harmony. They would tell my pastor friend here in Portland that the reason “organic” church doesn’t work in his venue is that he is a professional and the laity will always let the professionals do the work. They would tell him that he is too thinly spread and has lost his focus in his attempt to be missional. I do not know who is right on this point. I am intrigued by the possibility of seeing if the 12 traditions could be instituted by a church plant as being their “structure” to see if they could be the body of Christ for the world.