Promises

Two Authorities

From: As Bill Sees It

Many people wonder how A.A. can function under a seeming anarchy. Other societies have to have law and force and sanction and punishment, administered by authorized people. Happily for us, we found that we need no human authorities which are far more effective. One is benign, the other malign. There is God, our Father, who very simply says, "I am waiting for you to do my will." The other authority is named John Barlicorn, and he says, "You had better do God's will or I will kill you."

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 The A.A. Traditions are neither rules, regulations, nor laws. We obey them willingly because we want to. Perhaps the secret of their power lies in the fact that these life-giving communications spring out of living experience and are rooted in love. (1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, P. 105 2. A.A. TODAY, P. 11)

I posted this because of my previous posts on authority. there were so many questions from well-meaning "church people" who simply baulk at the idea of authority that is lived out daily in 12 step rooms. Bill Wilson in his usual crisp and clear manner seems to go to the heart of the matter.

I can't help but think that we have too long neglected the role of the Spirit (cf Jer. 31.31) because of a tradition handed down by earthly authorities that created human authority in reaction to very real problems and confusion left over by a church that was making a mess as it tried to live faithfully in those early centuries. 

Historically speaking, the real problem hit when Contstantine co-opted the church for the State's and his personal gain in the 4th century. In one fell swoop, authority in the church was turned on its head. I realize that more words need to be written on this and after I finish writing on the steps I will certainly revisit the subject.

Clothing and the 7th Step

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.

                    8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man* and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. (Gen 3:6-9 Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.)

 From the beginning of our story we have been covering up our own nakedness. We hide from each other. We hide from God. We cover ourselves in a protective act. An unforeseen danger lurks. If I see me as I am, I will lose hope, and so I hide.  If you see me as I am, you will not love me, and so I hide. If the Holy God sees who I really am, the very light of His holiness will destroy me, and so I hide.

Our fig leaves are our character defects. All the things we do to hide: procrastinate, lie, kill, steal, ignore, isolate, deride, hate, cheat, gossip, overindulge, lust, fornicate & adulterate, create idols, attempt control, image manage, etc… are the psychological weavings of an out-of-control ego that wants desperately to achieve equality with God. The cloth is designed to cover the reality of our own wantonness and seeming ugliness which ruins any hope I harbor for real connection and relationship.

Sometimes the fabric works to cover us for awhile. The lie appears to make us more desirable, but inside we know those who hear the lie desire something that is not really us and so it doesn’t count. The derision can make us feel better about ourselves and some of those who may be watching, but it really only serves to point out how we feel about ourselves. All the weaknesses we see in others are but our own shadows and point to something sinister inside ourselves that we are able to see in another because the shadow is so familiar. The murder may remove a competitor or challenger and make us feel stronger than we really are, but in the end murder, by definition can only destroy the relationship we crave.

We could go through everything on the list and the answer would prove to be the same. We see a perceived benefit. The article of psychological clothing works for us in some way. Giving it up means that we undress and bare a little more of ourselves than is comfortable.

In the story The Silver Chair, CS Lewis tells of Aslan coming and ripping the scales from the back of the boy before he is completely overcome by them, and, digging his claws in He rips the scales away. The process was agonizing almost to the point of death. Giving up our own defects is often no less agonizing.

In step six, the alcoholic / addict “becomes entirely ready to have God remove every single defect of character.” Step seven follows on, “humbly asked him to remove our defects of character.” My character defects are simply different forms of my primary addiction to myself, and I know that I am powerless to remove them. I have to have help from God. “God, help me!” becomes the ongoing prayer of the person who prays without ceasing. Often, as CS Lewis so eloquently describes the process of God taking the clothing we have wrapped ourselves in away is excruciatingly painful, but it is not without reward.

    21 And the Lord God made clothing from animal skins for Adam and his wife. (Gen 3:20-21: Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.) God did not leave his creation without clothes. He made them clothes made from animal skins. He covered them better than they could cover themselves. HE promises to do the same for us

Isn’t that always the way? What we attempt to do in our finitude, God accomplishes so much better than we could ever dream. As we let go of our character defects that we have long clothed ourselves in, asking God to take them from us, we discover that God clothes us so much more effectively. But that is another post for another time.

"God, I am now ready that you have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows..."

A Portion of Chapter 5 from the AA Big Book

Before writing on the 3rd step, it behooved me to allow readers unfamiliar with Big Book of AA to read from themselves Bill's understanding of the problem and solution. 

The Big Book was first published in 1939. Currently we are to the fourth edition. The first 164 pages remain unchanged, so anyone in a meeting at anytime can refer to a page number and everyone else can find it, much as a church goer might site chapter and verse. The last half of the book is member stories and that has changed over the years, so that it is more up to date and current.

The section that I extensively quote is from Chapter 5 entitled, "How it Works." Two or three times I chose to make word changes. Those word changes are bracketed.

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“The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery, and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous, even modest and self sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But as with moth humans he is more likely to have varied traits.

“What usually happens? The show doesn’t’ come off very well. He begins to think life doesn’t’ treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he is more at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages it well? Is it not evident to the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments a producer of confusion rather than harmony?

“Our actor is self-centered – ego-centric as people like to cal it nowadays. He is like the retired businessman… complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the {world}, politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia is the rest of the world would only behave… Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?

“Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. The arise out of ourselves, and {we are} an extreme example of self-will run riot, though {we} usually {don’t} think so. Above everything else we… must be rid of selfishness. We must or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.

“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is Father and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.” (pps 60-62, The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholics World Services, NYC, NY, 1939.)

The reason for the 9th tradition... would it work?

The 9^th tradition states: "AA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve".

Leo, named for the Russian author, was born to two college professors in Berkley back in the early 70’s. His parents were part of the “flower power” movement and drugs were often seen in his home as he grew up. Exceedingly bright, he never felt like he fit in with the other kids. A loner he was offered a scholarship to Reed College in Portland, Oregon to pursue a degree in philosophy. By the end of his sophomore year he was spending more time high than sober. He loved to sit around and talk philosophy with others that seemed to be just like him so long as a joint was lit or a needle was nearby. The drugs were a magical short cut the relationships he always wanted. At least they were until a combination of an overdose while on academic probation for missing too many classes cost him his full ride and eventually his place in the school. It wasn’t that long before he was standing beside a freeway exit asking for money so that he could get his next fix. Somehow he made it to Narcotics Anonymous

On this particular night he was sitting next to Hamilton at an eight o’clock meeting. They couldn’t be much more different from each other. While Leo sat in ripped jeans and a dirty old Grateful Dead t-shirt Hamilton was dressed in a coat and tie. He sold cars these days. It hadn’t started that way. A “type A” personality, he grew up in a big church on just off the 205. His parents were hard working, straight laced children of the Eisenhower 50’s and a fundamentalist Baptist lifestyle. Do’s and don’ts ruled his world. In the youth group he ruled. In school he was successful but always a bit on the outside. No one knew about his stash of porn that led him to consciously choose women over God at age 17. He couldn’t live with two Gods. His parents’ God deserved better than that. So he stopped going to high school and began to party with is friends after games and whenever he thought that he might hook up. Drugs were a part of the picture and they really were no big deal, a few lines here and there to make the feelings of ecstasy a little more intense, and a few drinks here and there to give him the courage to go after the real “looker” didn’t seem to hurt anything.

He went to the UO where he was big in the fraternity world and did well in his business classes. Out of college he hired on to sell pharmaceuticals. In his first year he netted over $130k. Meanwhile his bank account only had a few hundred in it and he was mortgaged up to the hilt. Rightly or wrongly he was fired after just two years on the job. His numbers plateaued, and  he was having a hard time making all his “meetings”. Often he’d call to reschedule appointments, and he was labeled “unreliable”. And when he was arrested for DUII, it gave his company all the reason they needed to let him go. The court ordered AA and so he went because he had to, but never really bought in. He finished all his court ordered meetings and vowed never to go back. He’d never drink and driver again he swore.

He couldn’t get a job in pharmaceuticals again. So he started to sell cars. He was good at it. But after only six months, he got greedy on a deal, cheated a colleague out of their cut, lied, got caught and got fired. He was so angry out of the deal that he went cruising, picked up a girl and binged with her on drugs and sex for 72 hours until the hotel manager called the cops because the party had grown and they were disturbing their neighbours.

He couldn’t find work now. He ended up in NA and found a job at a used car lot on 82^nd and began to piece his life back together again. His life was work, and NA. He knew he had to survive.

Leo was a confirmed anarchist. He didn’t trust government or authority of any kind. Everyone was equal. That is why he loved the NA rooms. It was, to him, in many ways the perfect anarchist society.  The only time he got antsy was when the meeting had their monthly business meetings. He hated those. He wasn’t sure if he believed in God but he was coming to believe that there had to be something more than all this that was, in fact keeping him clean. When asked, he’d say that the fellowship was his higher power. It was all he needed. He could trust it. There was no system that the fellowship had to serve. There was no structure that people had to fit into in order to belong. It was safe and the wisdom in the fellowship sometimes blew his mind. For now, the fellowship was all he needed.

Hamilton yearned for the fellowship to be more than it was. He was six years sober now. He’d worked his way up the car dealerships and was making pretty good money again. He could look at himself in the mirror with out wincing anymore most of the time. He was back in church. It was another big church up in Vancouver. They had programs for everything. He found places that he could serve and feel good about himself. Occasionally he felt badly because he was still very much the ladies man, but he figured Jesus would understand. He wanted NA to get more involved. He wanted them to do more things to help addicts get better. He was pointed by some old timers to various organizations that were doing stuff to help addicts recover and he found that he could throw himself into the work of RAP (Recovery Association Project). It was working on RAP that he came to know Leo who was working with the Oxford House. It was his friendship with Leo that helped him understand why NA wasn’t better organized.

While he still wished that NA was better organized and was willing to do more things. He came to appreciate that they didn’t. NA had to be a place for everyone. It had to be a place that Leo could get clean. It had to be a place whose focus was so simple that anyone could belong.

I tell the stories because they point to the reason Bill Wilson said the 9^th Tradition was necessary. People are different. People approach life, recovery, and Christianity differently. Meg on her blog, dandelionwine, quite rightly points out that we have a “soul type” that pushes us toward certain spiritual likes and dislikes. People will try to push recovery groups too. They want to push them in their own pet directions; much in the same way the church has often been pushed in peoples’ pet directions: the Episcopalians who insist on standing still until the last candle is out and Jesus has seemingly left the building, the Baptists who seem unable to sing anything unless it is written in 6/8 time and they are able to roller skate to it; the Charismatics who require a back beat to their prayers and a swaying motion that gives the allusion that they know how to dance; the Presbyterians who like things quiet so the old folk can sleep in the back pews; and the Lutherans that insist there be a keg at every church function. (Wow that was a long sentence.) The nature of groups is that they get pushed around by their organizational techniques and methods.

Bill Wilson didn’t want AA to get pushed around and all other 12 step  12 tradition groups have followed suit. You would think that this lack of organization would slow them down, but it hasn’t because the end of the tradition states that they may create service boards who are directly responsible to those they serve. Bill wanted the structure to serve the mission rather than the people to serve the structure. He did it this way. It has worked. It is an answer to the organizational “pull” problems. All sorts of alarm bells ring in my cranial cavity as I look at this step.

One of my friends here in Portland loves the idea of “organic” church, but has a hard time making it work. He doesn’t like programs and is intentional about avoiding them but he also feels that this hamstrings the Spirit’s ability to work though his congregation.

I am ambivalent on this point because if you talk to any 12 stepper they will tell you that you cannot treat the 12 traditions like a buffet where you are able to pick and chose which ones you want. The traditions work together in harmony. They would tell my pastor friend here in Portland that the reason “organic” church doesn’t work in his venue is that he is a professional and the laity will always let the professionals do the work. They would tell him that he is too thinly spread and has lost his focus in his attempt to be missional. I do not know who is right on this point. I am intrigued by the possibility of seeing if the 12 traditions could be instituted by a church plant as being their “structure” to see if they could be the body of Christ for the world.